All Time is Now

Howdy, World –

This week has been hard and I’ve not been able to complete any but my highest priority tasks, the essentials really. As with any failure, this is teaching me some things. Things anyone could argue I should have learned already, but I wish to respect the process and just keep going. I have a tendency to ruminate on things and have only recently come to accept just how that really does hobble you compared to to learning and letting go. So instead of the elaborate and well-considered post I had started, I am going to honor the commitment and myself and truth by writing this extemperaneous message instead. I want the world to know I am far from perfect and for all the brilliance people sometimes see in me, I, too, sometimes suffer from personal darkness and doubt.

So I am seizing the moment to drop the doubts and fears and blame I’ve had this week. I need to be doing many things and failing to do them well. I struggle to remember it isn’t all my fault but all my time, energy, and choices are. They are all I have and if I want to rise, I must focus on those, not the external world beyond my reach. If I am blessed enough to have a greater destiny, then it will come to me in due time. I need not force anything. Instead I must strive for focus, here and now. That is all there truly is – evolving now. I may be an illusion of sorts but that illusion may have a purpose: to drive forward and take command of the choices and attitude I have going forward.

All can be accomplished in time. The world is too deep and chaotic to ever be fully ordered except by its own nature. Thus we all must find the humility to see and accept that nature without succumbing to the belief that the nature we see is all that is. That is how one ends up like Mr. Putin right now. He is now a political animal trapped in the cage of a losing war. He will likely soon be wishing it could be over quickly, but who really knows? One can have love and compassion for the people of all countries, even in war, without worrying too much about their rulers and leaders.

That is one lesson I learned just this week: Ukrainian President Zelensky is a man who is easy to underestimate. Like most of the free world I have been impressed and moved by his resolve and leadership under such circumstances and with such a history. What I did not know is that, like me, he has a legal education. This gives me a different kind of hope and strength that my past need never be seen in vain, but rather in search of application and response. Time will never cease it’s spontaneous flow, so I must continue to act presently with only the near future in mind and save the further future for my dreams or risk folly once again.

It amazes me continuously how so many act as if they are masters of the world when it is clear to those who look that they are masters of none. Our world would be a much more stable place if so many weren’t acting so often from impulse and delusion. If we want to to be energy independent and not serve Russian and Saudi interests, we need bikes, buses, trains and better bosses, not more drills and rigs. That just doubles down on our problems or the sort-term gains of those pushing them. We must be able and willing, while we still can, to step back and really consider such choices, but of course, America has its own oligarchs and they are the ones truly served by the government these days. Just like in Russia, they only weaken us by putting themselves ahead of those in true need and taking personal advantage of every situation, rather than seeking true solutions.

I know, a bit of a tangent, but let’s be honest: if we struggle against a machine, it is this machine of money and power and selfishness. We need not accept the Manchins and Capitos , and Bezoses of our society for us all to be healthy, wealthy, and free. Indeed, to truly be so, we must all learn the lessons life offers, grow stronger and more independent and remove their power as best we can and relevel American society and then the world to better support ALL humanity. I can see a day, likely far off where the dream of a virtually borderless and peaceful world comes to be – where money and borders are mere accounting mechanisms which have little bearing on individual human beings beyond informing what is needed where, when, and by whom. We must accept that greed will always be a part of the human condition, but I have yet to find a good explanation for why it must be allowed to be the driving force of our lives. I know freedom and equality are mine.

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